Fornicating Flies
Alan Tees 21/11/05
The weather being fair, two Colmcillers made their way to Malin, to find the north facing slabs soaking wet, despite many days of dry conditions. (Must remember not to go to a shaded crag after heavy frost)! Undeterred, despite starting late, they descended into the bowels of Uncle Monty, where Magowan belayed whilst the Ex-Prez (no, the one before that) roped up to tackle the soaring ramp of "Fornicating Flies" a test piece put up by climbing hero Pete Smith, whose recent retirement from competitive sport rocked the nation (and caused several mountain rescue teams to disband). Whilst the Ex-Ex Prez battled with the rock difficulties above, brave Bill was almost swept from his stance by the marauding seas and was, at the same time, under constant attack by voracious barnacles. Finally the XXp's ample behind disappeared over the top, where he belayed to a limpid, and dragged his saturated rope up, duly fishing Magowan out of his corner. Things went smoothly until, just below the top, Magowans Schoellar high performance sticky trousers became overheated and melded with the rock.
Dont miss the second episode of "Fornicating Flies", same time next week
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activity. Potentially lethal. People can, and do, get killed (usually as a result
of a fall). Colmcille Climbing Club (heretoafter referred to as "The Club")
and Pete Smith cannot take responsibility if you decide to go climbing and
subsequently fall as a result of reading this website. In fact, the last
thing we want you to do is fall. That's not to say that we want you to fall,
or that we want it to be the last thing that happens to you; what we mean
is that we don't want you to fall at all. We don't even want you to go climbing
unless you want to: it's your choice. We like going climbing and we think
you'll enjoy it too, but if you do go, don't come running to us whingeing
if you happen to get hurt. If we said to put your hand in a fire, you wouldn't
do it, would you? And if we recommended putting your hand in a fire (which
we don't) we would suggest that you wear fireproof gloves and stuff, and
that you have a bucket of water nearby. So if you decided to go climbing,
we would suggest using ropes and stuff, and having a first aid kit on hand
because accidents can and do happen and they're not always fatal.
The Club does not have any more accidents than any other organisation that
indulges in potentially lethal activities, so it's not down to us. It's not
our fault. Gottit?