Colmcille Climbers

Pete Smith (who else?). Just to prove that there are some real men (and women) left in the Colmcille Climbers Club.

This is a story of folks as hard as nails. I'm not talking a bit tough, I'm talking Hard with a big aitch. If you are a bit of a big girl's blouse (and compared to us, you most certainly are) then prepare for the hairs on the back of your neck stand up in terror at the prospect of our exploits. If you are a little bit kind of craggy, but not rock-hard, then ready yourself to feel green-eyed envy at tales of feats you will never emulate. However, if you fancy yourself, and think you'd stand a chance, then come and join us next time and we'll show you what a big woolly woofter you actually are.

Rain and mist and wind deterred us not. We were seven in number: Alan Tees, Lorraine (just Lorraine), Andy (Pandy) Tees, Andrew (Hard Scot) McInroy, Michael McGinty, Brian (9 toes) Martin and me. It's true - Brian Martin went all the way up Muckish with a broken toe, in the rain, and CLIMBED. This man is double-hard.

The tale I want to relate, though, is that of Alan Tees. Here is a man who doesn't bother tweaking the nose of terror - he just busts it, without realising, and goes on his merry way oblivious. Michael and I, somehow, got roped into Alan's fearless escapade. We seconded him on the top two pitches of Lord Inchiquin (Hard Severe in the dry) and marvelled at El Presidente's incredible skills as he danced up slime that we could only slide up. We slipped and stumbled and cursed our way up off-widths and grass and mud and yuck that Alan had, minutes before, effortlessly cruised with a smile and a joke.

The descent that followed (as all visitors to Muckish will recall) is treacherous and frightening, being down the scree chute. Alan, as usual, led the way and looked as worried as a chamois might have done. When we got back to the cars, the others had been there about an hour already. We all went for a well-earned beer and chatted about how very hard we all were, when, actually, it was all reflected glory from Mr Tees!