Martin McGuigan a-spires to get closer to Heaven (and if that's a bad pun, you ain't seen nothing yet!)

At Colmcille Climbers we can feel proud of our own action man, steeplejack-cum-vertical gardener, Martin McGuigan. In a daring display of oneupmanship, Martin bagged the first ascent of a new route on a church spire in Omagh and allowed the Ulster Herald to photograph him on the job (so to speak). He then submitted himself for an interview with the Herald's roving reporter, Nigel McDonagh (see 17th August edition).

Nigel was able to reveal that our Martin is 51 years old. What do you think of that? Just shows to go you that a climber's life keeps you looking like Spring's first ray of sunshine. As he caroused amongst the gargoyles on Omagh's Sacred Heart Church, Martin looked as pretty as a picture and not a day over 35.

What the Colmcille Climbers Sub-Committee on Ethics will want to know is this: was the claimed first ascent 100% kosher? Photos in the paper clearly show a rope above our man, and the report refers to Martin's efforts at cleaning the nooks and crannies on the steeple (obviously the on-sight would have been foregone if an abseil inspection was undertaken). More worrying is the reporter's observation that "some slates were repaired", leading to suspicions that holds were....er.....prepared (??) - we should be told. Full route descriptions and estimated grades are eagerly awaited (and none of your old "goes at about HVS" flannel, we won't fall for it).

We should all congratulate Martin for his efforts to (literally) raise the profile of climbing in the North-West. The Church is an organisation where many potential mountaineers spend a lot of time, and we must continue to be inventive in our approach to recruiting new members to the club. Many climbers have taken refuge in prayer (usually when swearing and screaming doesn't improve matters) which just proves the old adage that there are no atheists on a battlefield! Closer links with the Church might be a good thing and those wishing to follow up an interest in steeple ascents should contact Martin.

Footnote: The Ulster Herald's article was headlined "Heavens Above". My own efforts at jokes pale into insignificance beside this little beauty.